Ayo Santiago!
In everyday life, people have obstacles they have to get by. These obstacles range from getting out of bed to swerving out of the way of a drunk driver. These obstacles can be basic obstacles or they can be life threatening. In The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, the old man,
Another obstacle put in front of the old man was the first shark that tried taking his fish. Not that all of the other sharks weren’t obstacles, the first one was the most significant. “He hit it [the shark] with his blood meshed hands driving a good harpoon with all his strength. He hit it without hope but with resolution and complete malignancy.” (102) The shark was real agressive but it did not threaten the old man. The man was not satisified when he killed the shark because he felt as if he killed a brother. The shark beat the man down not only physically, but mentally. The shark beat him down physically because of all the energy and strength it took to kill it. But mentally, he couldn’t get the thought out of his head that there would be more and more sharks coming. Then he realized he wasn’t prepared. He just used his only harpoon to kill the shark and all he has left is the oar and his knife to kill the rest of the skarks. That is how the shark was an obstacle to the old man.
The third obstacle put in front of the old man was the size of the marlin. “But he [the marlin] was that big and at the end of this circle he came to the surface only 30 yards away and the man saw his tail out of the water” (90) The size of the fish was definitely an obstacle. In the book, Hemingway describes the fish and being over 18 feet long and over 1500 pounds. The old man usually has no problem getting in a fish but the size of this fish really beat the old man down. He was out to sea 4 days with the fish just trying to pull him in. The fish made him real tired and it weakened his strength real fast. That brings me to the old man’s next obstacle.
Throughout the experience of the old man pulling in the fish, he loses his strength and he gets real tired real fast. “He felt very tired now and he knew the night would come soon and he tried to think of other things.” (67) Santiago was out to sea for 4 days trying to pull in one fish with some line and a rope with barely any sleep. The man actually got so sleep deprived that he actually started talking to himself telling himself he wasn’t going crazy. So all of the obstacles I have talked about so far actually have played a role in making him weak and tired. That was a 4th obstacle the man went through in The Old Man and the Sea.
In conclusion, the old man had many obstacles and struggles throughout the story. He had the shark and the marlin to deal with, also he had his hand and his endurance to deal with. Santiago held tough throughout the whole process of getting the fish. Even though he held tough, his fish still got stolen from all from all of the sharks attacking it. Santiago should be respected for everything he went through. Although the boy did admire him. It goes to show, hard work does pay off, but it can all be stolen just like that.
1. everyday people have to life with the obstacles that the have to face in life. this is very clear, concise, and focused. it engages me by wanting me want to read.
ReplyDelete2. “He hit it [the shark] with his blood meshed hands driving a good harpoon with all his strength. He hit it without hope but with resolution and complete malignancy.” (102)this is a very interesting quote. this helps to make the whole essay better.
3. this essay uses discription very well. it helps to make the whole essay more fun and interesting.
4. he could fix some of the convention errors in this. but other than that it was a really good essay.
I. The thesis is that everyone has obstacles in life but you just face them and not roll up in a ball and quit. I thought the thesis was clear and focused on the story. I thought it engaged me a little.
ReplyDeleteII. I think the strongest example of this story was “But he [the marlin] was that big and at the end of this circle he came to the surface only 30 yards away and the man saw his tail out of the water." It stood out because it was a good analytical response to the examples.
III. The essay used a lot of quotes form the story very well and he used a good word choice.
IV.He needs to reread his story and he needs to descript things better.
This essays thesis is that their are things you have to work around in life and he states very clearly.
ReplyDeletewhen he stated that the old mans fatigue kicked in that was a good quote because it let the reader know the state of Santiagos health.
"Then he realized he wasn’t prepared. He just used his only harpoon to kill the shark and all he has left is the oar and his knife to kill the rest of the skarks." This shows tommy good use of words. He puts together well thought out sentences that engage the reader.
I thought his essay was very well written and i do not have any suggestions.
I. The thesis of the essay is that in every day life there are obstacles that people have to get by. Tommy uses an example to clearly illustrate his thesis. His thesis is focused on the obstacles that the old man has to face in the old man and the sea. It engages the reader and is clearly shown in the essay.
ReplyDeleteII. I thought the second quotation was the strongest out of all of them. It clearly referred to the thesis and used a good of adding in his own words to make the quote work. It was a longer quote, but showed the obstacle of the size of the fish.
III. I thought that Tommy has done well in his choice of quotes to back up his thesis. Also, the organization of the essay was very good. I would try to not to say "another obstacle" and "The third". It makes it look like you are listing the quotes. Make them follow.
IV. You could make the essay flow. Not trying to list the quotes with "another obstacle" and "The first" Changing this well improve your essay. Overall it was good.
The thesis is that people have obstacles in their life that they have to overcome. Tommys thesis is clear and nice. I know what he is trying to say.
ReplyDelete“He hit it [the shark] with his blood meshed hands driving a good harpoon with all his strength. He hit it without hope but with resolution and complete malignancy.” (102 This is the best qoute out of all of them. It is pretty sweet and it clearly relates back to the thesis statement.
On thing that is good about the essay is the organization. It is a very clear essay. He gets his point across and it is easy to understand.
The thing that Tommy needs to add to his essay is the literary analysis words. I dont think he had 12 in there i could be wrong but i doubt i am.
The thesis is that people have obstacles to overcome.
ReplyDelete"Then he realized he wasn’t prepared. He just used his only harpoon to kill the shark and all he has left is the oar and his knife to kill the rest of the skarks." This engages the reader.
The story was good. Good job Richard!
It was good, you dont need to add anything.
I. The thesis is that Santiago faces many struggles in the OMS. I think that you might be able to explain what some of those are though.
ReplyDeleteII. I think all of the quotes have the same minor problem: they are all gramatically correct, but they don't flow with the story, they don't seem like you wrote it when you read it. They all seem kind of out of place.
III. You analyze very well. The way you put isn't bland. For example you don't say "santiago did this because this."
IV. In your conclusion you should basically reword your introduction. Instead of staying on the OMS you should concisely conclude your paragraphs then open it back out to the everyday life that you talked about in your introduction.
The thesis of the essay is that in every day life there are obstacles that people have to get by. His thesis is focused on the obstacles that the old man had to face in the book. It engages the reader and is clearly shown in the essay. I thought the second quotation was the strongest. It clearly referred to the thesis and used a good job of adding in his own words to make the quote work. I thought that Tommy has done well in his choice of quotes to back up his thesis. Also, the organization of the essay was very good. I would try to use a better word choice. But, I thought it was generally well-written.
ReplyDelete